Moondraagon's Reiki - Unification of the body mind and spirit

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How to love your enemy

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
-Lewis B. Smedes

Like most people, I am sure you have often struggled with the question of “How to love your enemy“? I bet that just thinking about “loving” your enemy makes your stomach go sour, your blood boil and body cringe. I am sure you can think of a lot of other things you’d like to do to your enemy other than “love” them right? Naturally, how can you “love” your enemy when your heart is overflowing with anger, resentment and hostility?
People often say, “keep your enemies close“, or “kill ‘em with kindness“. Those words are so easy to say, but what do those words really mean and how can you truly apply those words to your life without being fake, vengeful, or condescending?
The first step is to take a genuine look at your enemy. Who is that person/persons who offends you so much? Stuffing your heart full of resentment and hate? And why?
Could it be because they are not acting or doing as YOU would like them to? Or because they don‘t agree with YOU? Or maybe they aren’t giving YOU the attention YOU require?
Why have YOU chosen to hold this person hostage to your beliefs? It’s a free country isn‘t it? Don’t we all have the right to think and feel as we wish?
Try and remove youself from the scenario for a moment and think about how “your enemy” feels as you lock him/her up, forcing him/her into your little judgmental box. I bet your enemy has that “bad attitude” because they are fighting against your need to control and imprison them?
Why must you be so concerned and focused on how they choose to live their life anyway? Their lives have nothing to do with you, you are not required to agree with them, nor are they required to agree with you. “Agree to disagree right”?
Maybe it’s time to just set them free, just throw away that key. Unlock your own self-defeating perspective by being more “care-less” as Dr. Stein of Zone healing says. Once you take this little leap, you will quickly realize “the enemy” this whole time was you. This battle was happening within you. There is so much freedom in that, isn’t there?
Then you can be free to focus your energy on enriching the positive things in your life like your family, yourself, or being grateful for all you have. Hey, what do you have to lose? Bitterness, frustration, anger? What do you have to gain? Yourself.

6 Comments to How to love your enemy:

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Summer on Sunday, November 07, 2010 10:26 PM
I think I really needed to read this, and re-read it...sounds easy but may be one of our biggest challenges!
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Natalie on Monday, November 08, 2010 7:54 PM
Gia, Thank you so much for reading, I truly appreciate your support. Yes, picturing yourself outside of the scene is a great way to practice. Good luck, please let me know how it goes.

Natalie on Monday, November 08, 2010 8:00 PM
Summer, You are absolutely right it is a major challenge! but as long as we never stop trying, then one day, it will just click :). Thank you my awesome friend for always being here for me xoxo

Gia on Monday, November 08, 2010 5:57 PM
It's amazing how much time we can waste thinking about what someone said/did that we didn't like. Care less & detach from those comments is such awesome advice. It is hard to remember that what people say/do isn't with us in mind at all! I am going to try to imagine myself outside the scene next time. Great blog!!!
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Jenn on Monday, December 13, 2010 1:45 PM
I saw the Dalai Lama speak once, and he addressed this concept with a really interesting and productive perspective. He said that, not only should we love our enemies, but we should be grateful for their presence in our lives. He compared them to the weights at the gym, and how those weights create the tension we need to build our muscles. Similarly, without the obstacles and struggles our enemies bring into our lives, we would never have the opportunity to strengthen our sense of love, patience, forgiveness and compassion. Therefore, just as we are grateful for the equipment and the weights at the gym, we should be grateful for the challenges that are provided to us by our enemies-- it is because of them that we are strong and enduring, not in spite of them!
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Natalie on Monday, December 13, 2010 3:48 PM
That's an excellent way to look at it! excuse me I need to go work out with some weights :) thank you for reading, you're AWESOME!

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