"We do not stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing!"
George Bernard Shaw
I woke up this morning dead tired and low on energy from being up most of the night comforting my painfully teething and very cranky baby. I slowly peeled myself away from my cozy bed and clumsily staggered into the bathroom, my eyes half open. I took two steps into the bathroom and felt something squishy creep up in-between my toes. I hesitantly looked down to see that I stepped right in to a big pile of dog poop; apparently Poppy had and accident and Mommy is not happy!. I tried my best to refrain from dry heaving, but failed. I quickly and efficiently cleaned the disgusting matter out from between my toes and then took a few deep breaths and headed downstairs.
I arrived downstairs to a living room that looked like a trash dump, a dirty pile of dishes, two hungry, whining children and 2 hyper mutts (dogs that is) following closely behind me. I gazed outside and imagined myself in my room kicking back with my feet up, a nice book and a big DO NOT DISTURB sign on my door. This was just not going to happen, there's no escape for me and it's only 6:30AM!!
Feeling like I was drowning beneath an endless and agonizing to-do list, I began barking orders for the dogs to get outside and for my daughter to clean up her mess. Each time I asked her to clean up her mess, my voice got louder and louder until it became a raspy scream that could be heard down the block. She stopped playing with her dolls and looked up at me and asked "Mommy, why are you so angry?". Her words were like a whip which snapped me right back into the present moment. I looked at her little face and realized I was not there; a disturbed and highly agitated person was there. I was off in a slurry of worries in my head.
"What is wrong with me"?, I thought. I am exactly where I dreamt of being: a wife, a mother and I have so much to be grateful for so why am I so annoyed? What do I really have to be annoyed about?. Yes, I am doing the same things over and over again: cooking, cleaning, laundry and such. That can be a little mundane, but that goes with the territory. So as I centered back into my body and got comfortable there, I looked at my daughter's precious little face in all of its’ innocence and wonderment and thought "the only thing she wants is for me to really see her and be here for her".
Yes, I have a lot to do, but I can choose to do it begrudgingly or with ease, either way it must be done. When looking at the big picture, this to-do list is small potatoes compared to what really matters. My daughters having a Mother who is present and truly there for them, that's what really matters. Why do I feel like everything must be so serious?
So after having this productive conversation with myself, I threw down the sponge and turned off the water, the dishes can wait! I popped in a CD and Me and my precious girls danced, twirled and sang together and their whining was quickly replaced with big smiles and lots of laughter.